Now almost 2 year from time Lisa go away. In the end I come back but having the new blog is fresh start.

If you like is call Sweet Butterfly In Sky

I wish I may see you in there.

Love,

Yumi

*** What follows is an excerpt from an email I sent to a friend of Lisa and Ayumi regarding Lisa’s funeral. Rewriting this would be like grinding salt into an open wound, so I’ve pasted directly. I trust, and hope, you will understand. ***

Please note: This is posted by Marc, a friend of Lisa and Ayumi, owing to Yumi’s current state.

“Lisa’s funeral was a non-religious affair so there was a ceremony led by principals of Lisa’s company, and some words from friends and colleagues; Rodney spoke, shakily, about his long association and friendship with Lisa. He spoke for almost thirty minutes and told a few stories that made me smile, and others that drove into my heart. Nobody in the room had a dry eye.

Yumi sat beside Lisa’s casket, her hand touching the wood and her head bowed, for the entire ceremony. She neither spoke nor looked at anyone and when it was over, a couple of us took her arm and led her to the car. She hasn’t said more than a dozen words since Saturday. Her grief is absolute.

At the crematorium things went quite quickly, and relatively painlessly, but the part afterwards, a traditional Japanese custom where relatives (usually, although Lisa had none) use chopsticks to retrieve remaining bones from the ashes, took place after a few hours and was harrowing. Yumi attended to this herself, with a little help from friends. It was such a relief when it ended.

And now, a few days later, Yumi is still not speaking much but she has taken some food and even slept a little. The company, Rodney especially, have been wonderful. While ‘officially’ Yumi was not related to Lisa, they understand the relationship and are taking pains to be sensitive. The reading of the will takes place tomorrow (Wednesday March 21st). I’ll wait for that to finish then I must return to Hong Kong.

As a sort of ‘biographer’ of Lisa and friend, albeit as creator of a fictionalized account as requested before her passing, I’ve been given access to events which would otherwise have been less open. It’s given me a chance, at least, to lend some comfort to Yumi.

Now that the funeral is passed, Yumi can begin to grieve properly and to, hopefully, recover. I always pass your wishes to her. She doesn’t show anything but I know it will help in the long run.”

Ayumi has a will of iron and an inner strength which has been tested to its limit of late. I, as many friends do, have confidence that she will draw strength from friends and from herself, and become the dazzling Ayumi with whom Lisa fell, so deeply and completely, in love. She may not be the same, but she will always be, Ayumi.

I write almost cannot see the eye so many tear. Little bit word farewell.

The sky so black
Bird didn’t sing
Ground wet
Cloud cry
Mountain fall the sea
In heart no light
I afraid close the eye
Forget the smile you
Face hot
Heart cold
Blossom die inside

Ayumi

Ayumi

Ayumi

Dear friend of Lisa Yumi,

So sorry so bad the news. I return Tokyo hospital the early today plane, Rodney wait me tell Lisa having problem in early morning time. Didn’t want telling me the phone.

Doctor say Lisa have the brain some blood run out inside make her falling down sleep. Lisa now the long sleep doctor saying, maybe wait long time she didn’t come back. Cannot saying. Doctor telling me can happen the hit the head make later the hurt inside can see.

I stay Lisa little time must go Sendai back the shoot. Doctor say ok go, no change maybe long time. Hospital test say some hurt the brain the blood doing. I go back the shoot try write little bit if the time have. Little bit the blog. Please if write me the email wait little bit maybe cannot the writing so fast you.

Hope Lisa coming back maybe this time didn’t coming back us. Hope Lisa.

Love all friend
Ayumi

Tuesday will hospital see Lisa the morning, must return set the afternoon cannot staying Tokyo. Fly morning in, fly afternoon out.

Rodney say me Lisa little memory me the friend like little bit. She didn’t knowing all of me. Rodney taking Lisa the chair have wheel go hospital outside. So cold but is outside feel real life there. Lisa cannot many step only little bit can stand the feet must resting long time after stand. Rodney say like Lisa in dreaming place many time.

I many day here director so slow working. He say me maybe 1 week need more cannot go away that time. Agent smile me say I the big star ok stay long time. I say agent say the bullshit me try make Yumi calm. Cannot calm must my Lisa helping. So many the people here they smile me, give many good thing say, want Yumi feel the empress so many slave. Yumi say leave alone be the people no the slave. So crazy the business of film.

So sorry talk many thing the film, make crazy. So sorry also no the message. No time only can writing little bit tell you the happen things.

Love all friend, kiss, hugs also
Ayumi

Tonight feel difficult time. Lisa no change the memory the walk, all same.

Agent phone me say the film the shoot begin the next day. I say cannot, agent saying must do maybe career die no do. Director say Yumi don’t working he the next times I staying Tokyo.

I talkng Rodney, he the minder he the called, say must go the shoot. He take care Lisa ok. So I going the shoot of film. Must be go maybe all the week little more maybe.

Maybe cannot the write so many time I go. Please forgive I write little the week. Missing the friend so long go the shoot. Heart of me fly the home of friend stay.

I write the reply after return the shooting. So sorry friend need the wait long maybe little.

Now sleeping the morning sunshine bring many work must doing.

Love all the friend. Kiss also hug all beautiful friend.

Ayumi

Lisa same today. She talking many thing but memory no work. People they from Lisa company visiting many time she cannot know they from. Lisa cannot the walking maybe after. She read hard her doing. Cannot understand writing the business. Maybe after.

I think many thing the long night time. Say to me many thing inside the head. Yumi no the people cry. I say me “Yumi, stopping the cry be the strong womans no be stupid. Lisa will better. All people having some bad the life. The next day be Yumi, no weeping afraid little girl.”

Morning come this day Yumi walk out the hospital do many thing like doing. I old home look many thing. Look Lisa photo play Yumi. I play Yumi climb mountain feeling good climb many peak the mountain. Cannot walking take the resting.

Shopping, talk many people the phone. Visit new house no climb mountain new house, save Lisa.

Hospital after better feeling see Lisa different look. Yumi no cry more time. Strong now Lisa seeing strong Yumi help.

I memory this Lisa favourite song. Sound Lisa talking me little bit. Make crying stupid Yumi listen sad song.

She singer Missy Higgins come Australia. Song call it The Sound of White

Like a freeze-dried rose, you will never be,
What you were, what you were to me in memory.
But if I listen to the dark,
You’ll embrace me like a star,
Envelope me, envelope me…
If things get real for me down here,
Promise to take me to before you went away -
If only for a day.
If things get real for me down here,
Promise to take me back to the tune
We played before you went away.

And if I listen to, the sound of white,
Sometimes I hear your smile, and breath your light.
Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white ..
You’re my mystery. One mystery. My mystery. One mystery.

My silence solidifies,
Until that hollow void erases you,
Erases you so I can’t feel at all.
But if I never feel again, at least that nothingness
Will end the painful dream, of you and me…
If things get real for me down here, promise to take me to
Before you went away, if only for a day.
If things get real for me down here, promise to take me back to
The tune we played before you went away.

And if I listen to, the sound of white
Sometimes I hear your smile, and breath your light.
Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white
Sometimes I hear your smile, and breath your light.
And if I listen to, the sound of white.

I knelt before some strangers face,
I’d never have the courage or belief to trust this place,
But I dropped my head, ‘cos it felt like lead,
And I’m sure I felt your fingers through my hair…

And if I listen to, the sound of white sometimes
I hear your smile, and breathe your light.
Yeah if I listen to, the sound of white.
The sound of white,
The sound of white,
The sound of white.